With only 386 days until Christmas (something like that) it's time to get a movin' and a groovin' with some Kris Kringle action.
No doubt you're wondering what all this howling business is about...
It's not a cult - but with your profile and insane level of popularity it might just become one.
Anyhoo, we want you to get in on this howling secret.
Dingo Hot Sauce!
It's an absolute ripper and makes the bestest ever Kris Kringle gift that you could light up someone's life with.
Need a promotion? Give some to your boss.
Need more money? Give some to your rich Aunty.
Need less friends? Tell them to use it as eye drops.
Either way, Dingo Hot Sauce will stamp your authority as the best gift giver since Santa.
Sprint into Smoults Larder today and grab your stocks before the stampede begins!
Eddie and Eunice xxx
Eddie Smoult - One-time super hero. Released from the 1980's on a good behaviour bond. Fantasy is to be reincarnated the lead on the Muppet Show.