We all know that the kitchen staff at Smoults are tyrannical and evil.
They take great pleasure in depriving you of the things you truly crave…
You probably hear them quietly laughing as they send out your meal with the ramekin of pure indulgence, better known as Smoults homestyle tomato relish.
Sure there are a couple of teaspoons of heavenly deliciousness there, but like any addictive substance, one hit is never enough…
Well, there is a Christmas miracle unfolding at Smoults!
The famous tomato relish is now available to take home.
Yep, this limited-edition jar of decadence is yours to purchase now at Smoults.
Clinical tests have shown that it can turn your Christmas ham into an out of body experience; breathe life into cabbage; and increase your lifespan by 30 years (tbc).
Do everything you can to get into Smoults today to grab your jar of heaven – the perfect Chrissie gift to yourself!
Eddie Smoult - One-time super hero. Released from the 1980's on a good behaviour bond. Fantasy is to be reincarnated the lead on the Muppet Show.